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Peer Review #1

Charmaine, your focus on imagery has produced powerful results!

The bolded text and colloquialism is wonderfully effective in building the tone of desperation and destruction in the poem. The final line is particularly striking, the mundanity usually surrounding the context of something being stapled is a strong use of juxtaposition. The shifts in person are really interesting as well, lots of second person and confrontation for the reader.

As a history fan I’d like to share a small part of historical trivia that could make this piece even stronger. Land mines weren’t particularly prevalent in the First World War except to bring down heavily fortified positions through tunnelling or as a countermeasure for enemy tunnelers. They were far more common in the Second World War with the advent of mass produced tanks. Far more prevalent and destructive was the shelling caused by enemy bombardments for days on end. If you were inclined to extend this piece, I’m confident based on what you’ve written here you could produce a few lines on the way they made the earth tremble and your brain rattle inside your skull for days at a time, as if the heavens had cracked.

A great read, thank you for writing!


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